A couple of thoughts on this movie. ‘Eat, Love, Pray’ is of course the best-selling book by Elisabeth Gilbert - a book that became a major best seller in record-time. It recounts the personal journey of a woman who leaves her husband, job and home in search of … something: personal happiness, fulfillment, the meaning of life… She travels to Italy, where she learns to truly enjoy the good things in life (which apparently is food and people); to an Ashram in India, where she learns to face herself, control her thoughts and forgive herself; and to Bali, where she finds true love.
Sophie and I saw this movie last night and I twittered about it. I wrote: “Just watched 'Eat, Pray, Love'. Got to think about that movie. Lots of wisdom, but it seemed to come in convoluted ways.” From the responses I got it was clear more people felt the same way. My thoughts about this movie are of course very late as the movie has been out for a while — but in any case, here they are.
The movie contains much wisdom. There are little statements here and there that the viewer will pick up on. Some that registered with Sophie and myself were ”Ruin is a gift; ruin is the road to transformation” and “sometimes loosing balance for love is part of balanced life”.
REALLY?
But it strikes me this wisdom comes in convoluted ways. Really: wisdom from a medicine man in Bali? Movies like to romanticize the wisdom and insight from these medicine man in Africa and the Far East; but we know how often these people were tricksters and charlatans and out for nothing but personal gain. Here in the west we dispensed with quacks at the end of the Middle Ages — and now we travel to Indonesia to sit at their feet?
I could make a similar point about the Ashrams in India. Do we not know how many people travelled to India and came back upset and angry at the injustice of that culture and the unwillingness of the Ashrams to do anything about it. In the movie Liz does nothing to prevent an unwilling bride from being sold into a marriage she detests. Instead she has a beautiful dream for the bride — as if that makes it all OK. Really?
GOD WITHIN
And she finds God within. Again that notion, so popular these days, to look for God inside of ourselves, rather than outside of ourselves. I just have one question: if God was within us and part of of us and if indeed we are God, than how are we not in trouble? Because apparently than all we have is what we personally bring to the table — which, as the movie shows, isn’t all that much. What hope do we then possibly have?
What we bring to the table is a lot of selfishness. A self-directed search for happiness and fulfillment. Because, make no mistake about it, this is a story of a lady who has everything (career, husband, house, money). She is at the top of Maslow’s pyramid of needs (‘self-actualization’) and she wants more.
IN SEARCH OF SPIRITUALITY - BUT WHAT IS THAT?
She wants ‘spirituality’. Many Christians rejoice when they hear this. After all, doesn’t the Christian Faith offer just that?
Unfortunately, this is where Christians and non-Christians really speak two different languages. When Christians speak of spirituality, they speak of a spiritual world in which there are good spirits and evil spirits and where we, humans, turn out to be beings endowed with a spirit to relate to the chief spirit, which is God.
A spiritual person in secular terms has no interest in this spiritual world. Rather, he or she is a person who through a lot of self-focus and self-awareness has developed a strong sense of self and has created his or her own story — and so has become ‘a very inspiring person.’ That’s what spirituality is all about in secular terms: just how ‘inspiring’ can you be?
IS DIVORCE MANDATORY?
It was interesting to Sophie and me how in movies like these marriage always gets a bad rep. For some reason it is always impossible for the main character to find happiness in the relationship they are in — and they need 'out'. In Liz's case to find ‘true love’ in the arms of another good-looking man with a beautiful body and beard, a nice accent, who wants to take her to romantic places? Oh yes, and he cries when he has to say goodbye to his son and he makes mix-tapes. Really? This is happiness? Tell me how history will not simply repeat itself? The problem is not that we are married to someone who cannot fulfill our every desire; the problem is no person can in the first place. If we keep looking at each other to 'meet our needs' we will only be disappointed and go from relationship to relationship.
This year Sophie and I celebrate that we have been married for 20 years. I can tell you this: real happiness comes in sticking together through the hard times and fighting your battles together.
THE JOURNEY TO WHERE?
There is something I do applaud about this movie. I do believe we sometimes can get so stuck in a system of expectations, a predictable way of doing things, a prison of mediocrity, that we want out. I believe this happens to many of us — and too many of us make our peace with this. I applaud that she grabs life ‘by the balls’ turns it upside down and sets out on a journey. These are the kind of journeys I like — it is after all why I called this blog the journey. I like the metaphot because I believe God set us out on a journey - and that journey is a pursuit of freedom indeed!
But not every journey leads to the desired destiny — just like not every road leads to your front door. There are journeys that will take you nowhere — or worse, that will lead you to personal ruin: emotional, psychological ruin and yes, spiritual ruin. In Liz’s case, I’m not sure it leads her anywhere.
GOING UP OR DOWN?
Back to Maslow’s pyramid of needs. I believe there is much truth in Maslow’s description of the world. I also believe much of Western society lives right at the pinnacle of Maslow’s pyramid.
And yet, here is the strange thing: Maslow seemed to predict that this summit was where true happiness and fulfillment were. And yet we have scores of people who are trying to get ever higher and higher. It is my conviction that, in time, all of us will have to find out that no self-indulgence in Italy, no personal meditation and self-reflection in India and no ‘new lovers arms’ in Bali will help us get higher. Any sense of escape or of having found more than we had before is temporary and in the end self-deceiving.
There is but one answer — and it is oddly enough the answer Jesus gave many years ago. The true answer for people who search for yet more self-actualization is that we serve the people at the bottom of the pyramid. It is in serving and giving ourselves away that we truly find ourselves. Forget Italy, Rome and Bali. Once you have reached the summit of the pyramid, there is no place left to go — but down.It is there that you will find more self-awareness and more peace and that you will become a whole person.
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Posted by: viagra | Tuesday, November 27, 2012 at 04:52 AM